Barney Frank, Chris Dodd, Charles Rangel to Start Own Bank
The Congressional Reporter & Advisor has revealed today that three of the most influential Democratic leaders on Capitol Hill have started their own bank and will soon be lending money to anyone who has a pulse.
The Congressional Reporter & Advisor has revealed today that three of the most influential Democratic leaders on Capitol Hill have started their own bank and will soon be lending money to anyone who has a pulse.
Barney Frank (D-MA), Chris Dodd (D-CT), and Charles Rangel (D-NY) announced the opening of People’s Bank & Trust at a news conference yesterday in Manhattan.
Bank officials plan to create new jobs and will offer on-the-job training. Mr. Frank stated, “We take pride in offering loans to anyone, anytime, for anything.”
The three senior ranking Democratic lawmakers are well accustomed to controversy, but each has deftly avoided financial and tax corruption charges so far.
Frank went on to say, “Our access to trillions of taxpayer dollars provides us the capital to give Americans their piece of the American dream”. During the brief Q&A session, a reporter asked Mr. Rangel whether loans would be available for investors seeking to purchase low-income apartment buildings in NY City. However, Mr. Rangel left the podium suddenly without answering the question and was seen walking briskly towards the buffet table.
Mr. Dodd did not answer questions and excused himself from the news conference telling reporters he was late for a creative writing class in lower Manhattan.
The new bank will reportedly offer free checking, 1/2% interest rate loans and 90 day overdraft protection for all customers. In addition, checkbooks will feature designer checks printed in red ink.
The three senior ranking Democratic lawmakers are well accustomed to controversy, but each has deftly avoided financial and tax corruption charges so far.
Frank went on to say, “Our access to trillions of taxpayer dollars provides us the capital to give Americans their piece of the American dream”. During the brief Q&A session, a reporter asked Mr. Rangel whether loans would be available for investors seeking to purchase low-income apartment buildings in NY City. However, Mr. Rangel left the podium suddenly without answering the question and was seen walking briskly towards the buffet table.
Mr. Dodd did not answer questions and excused himself from the news conference telling reporters he was late for a creative writing class in lower Manhattan.
The new bank will reportedly offer free checking, 1/2% interest rate loans and 90 day overdraft protection for all customers. In addition, checkbooks will feature designer checks printed in red ink.
Disclaimer: The above is a political satire adapted from the spoof.com website. It is intended for entertainment value only. Any similarity (perceived, implied or otherwise) to the contents of this story and factual information regarding persons mentioned herein is coincidental.
